


Regrets, I've had a few

by assassinating_octopus



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: BAMF Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), James Griffin (Voltron) Being an Asshole, Lance is a Slut, M/M, also i love lance thanks for asking, and hes proud of it, keiths hot, lance can reduce anyone to a sobbing mess, no beta we die like men, smackdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:42:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assassinating_octopus/pseuds/assassinating_octopus
Summary: They got back to Earth after everything, and things are returning to normal.Except Lance was a teenager once, with a huge libido so he had a couple (a lot) of overnight visitors (wink wonk)Only problem is, one on of them was James Griffin, Keith's tormentor from the Garrison. Lance, quite understandably does not want to cross paths with him.But when James is being a shithead? Lance knows a thing or two about taking down someone's overinflated ego.-Or, alternatively, because I suck at summaries; Lance sucked Griffin's dick once upon a time, and now Griffin thinks that he can be friends with the paladins after being a bitch. So Lance exposes him.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 44
Kudos: 570





	Regrets, I've had a few

**Author's Note:**

> In this timeline, Adam was Lance's mentor. The way Shiro was Keith's. And Lance is a proud slut.

They were back on Earth, that was weird itself. After so long travelling the stars, being on firm soil for more than a week was… different.

Keith was his… partner? They hadn’t really discussed it, but Lance was sure that their relationship had moved way past just friends with benefits, if it had ever been that in the first place. But now when they were in those never ending meetings, Keith would hold his hand, or Lance would slip his arm around his waist. And when he or someone else flirted too much for comfortability, Keith would, almost posessively, come up behind Lance and wrap his arms around him. So he was in a relationship with Keith, that was also… different.

What was  _ really _ different was the way that people treated Lance at the Garrison. 

It was in the middle of Arizona, and while the don’t ask don’t tell rule was offically repealed a long time ago, and there was good diversity, being a bisexual, scrawny, latino kid from Cuba, who didn’t have English as his first language was not good.

-

When they first saw Iverson again, it was all business, to get the Galra off of Earth, and kick their furry asses.

The second time, Keith had walked up to Iverson, had very calmly said “You’re a little bitch,” then promptly punched him in the gut. “It wasn’t pilot error, dickwad.” (With Lance in the background yelling “You go babe! Murk his dumb ass!”). Then walked away, leaving Iverson weezing on the ground. 

Iverson found all of the Voltron family later, and apologized to them. “I apologize for my actions paladins,” It was clear that he was trying to be formal, but it was a futile effort when he looked so distinctly uncomfortable. “I know that I have treated you unwell-”

“Unwell he says,” snorted Pidge “Try being a raging asshole.”

“Um well-” Iverson cleared his throat, looking even more uncomfortable. “If you would like me to leave, then I’ll-”

“No, no.” Hunk interupted, “I want to hear  _ all _ about how you’re  _ so _ sorry for making our live’s living hell at the Garrison. Especially Lance’s by being a racist, homophobic prick and encouraging other students to pick on him because you couldn’t handle a latino succeeding. And how you’re  _ so _ sorry for using Pidge’s family against them.” 

“Oh I got it from here Hunk,” Adam smiled, “And how you’re  _ so _ sorry for not giving a shit about the Kerberos team, even though they had families at home waiting for them. And how you’re  _ so _ sorry for kicking Keith out of the Garrison. I could go on but you should probably start grovelling now.”

Hunk fist bumped Pidge.

Needless to say, between Adam, Hunk and Pidge, Iverson was practically quaking by the time he finished his apology.

-

Now Lance had explained to Keith, before this all started, that he was basically the school slut. Not that it mattered of course because concepts like body count and purity are dumb and products of the patriarchy. But it was one thing to say, “Hey I basically slept with a third of Garrison, and I have the skills to back it up,” and another to walk down the hallway with Keith and actually see all of his past flings.

Keith also happens to be  _ really  _ hot when he’s all possessive and growly (might be a Galra thing who knows).

Another tidbit of information that you really didn’t need to know is that Keith also tends to fuck the daylights out of Lance when he is all possessive and growly (ew Lance really?). Which is great and all, but very disorienting, and people give him weird looks when he shows up to breakfast looking like he just got mauled by a wild animal.

Also, Lance had recently learned about Keith’s and James Griffin’s shared past, in which Griffin would make douche bag jokes about Keith’s lack of parents and his homosexuality, Keith then would, quite understandably, get angry and beat the living shit out of him and then get in trouble for it. And then Keith would have to sit there and take it because he couldn’t afford to get in trouble again.

Lance knew about it before, he just didn’t understand how bad Griffin’s bullying actually was. 

Unfortunately, because Lance often makes decisions that tend to come back and bite in the ass, he had also hooked up with Griffin. And as dumb as he is, Lance is not a complete idiot. Ergo, Lance desperately trying (read failing) to avoid Griffin as much as humanly possible. 

But, as it turns out, the universe hates Lance.

So.

After weeks (WEEKS!) of hard work at avoiding him, Griffin manages to corner Lance. Not a good move buddy. Luckily for Lance, he had someone with him. Unluckily for Lance (and Griffin), that someone happened to be Keith.

“Lance! Keith!” Griffin started. Lance could already see the stench of holier than thou rising off of him. Why had he hooked up with this guy again? Oh right. Horny. Dumb. Heartbroken. Teenager.

“What do you want.” Keith was not liking this, Lance could tell. But Lance’s Mama raised a (mostly) polite young man, and he couldn’t just nope his way out of a conversation.

“Yeeeeesssss…” Lance replied apprehensively, looking for a way out, he could feel Keith growing more agitated by the second. Oh hey! That’s Adam and Shiro, wondering what they’re up to. They seem to be holding paperwork probably from the Garrison higher ups. Lovely, truly fascinating. If he could just-

“Well I wanted to catch up.” Dammit Griffin was still talking. Adam and Shiro were still walking this way maybe in a few seconds- wait did he just say catch up?

Lance whipped his head around “Catch up?” he said incredulously.

“Yeah” Griffin shrugged and smirked a little, “We all got along great before you guys went to space, and as I’m the MFE leader, and you guys are paladins of Voltron, we should be friends again.”

That  _ fucker. _

“ _ What? _ ” Keith exclaimed, furious beyond doubt. Lance had to agree. However, Lance did  _ not  _ need Keith punching Griffin in the middle of a now-crowded hallway. As sad as it was, Griffin  _ was _ the leader of the MFE pilots (honestly no clue why they put him in charge), and punching him was bad publicity. He needed to intervene, and quick.

“Mc scuse me?” Lance said as he slid between Griffin and Keith. “We did not get along.”

“On the contrary,” Griffin’s I’m-hot-shit smile was even bigger, Lance had the sudden urge to commit murder “Lance, you and I got along  _ particularly _ well. And Keith loved my friendly teasing, didn’t you Keith?” 

He was a paladin of Voltron, who saved Earth, he could get away with a little murder right?

The sleaze bag had not only brought up Lance’s (horrible, regrettable) decision as what? Bragging rights? But had also insinuated Keith’s torture as… friendly teasing? Capital-N. Nope.

“Ok Jamie-boy” Lance smiled suddenly. Griffin looked vaguely nervous, “I told you not to call me tha-” Lance cut him off.

“Jamie-boy. Let’s get this straight.” (Heh. Straight. As if. Wait- shit- not the time Lance, really not the time.) “You’re thinking that bullying Keith about his parents, and openness with his sexuality, something that you couldn’t do- I might add, and being a general fuck face to him was freindly?”

“Lance-”

“Nuh uh.” He shushed Griffin. A rather large crowd was forming. Lance could see that Shiro had latched onto Keith’s arm to hold him back. Allura had mysteriously appeared, don’t know when she came in, but she and Adam seemed to be doing a poor job of holding in smiles. Other Garrison officers and students had also gathered to see what the commotion was.

“You’re openly gay now,” Lance continued. “But back then you were so deep in the closet because you feared the exact same treatment you gave Keith. You call that friendly? Now, I didn’t know about this, until  _ Kieth _ told me, and if so I wouldn’t have made the choice that I did.”   
  


Lance took a breath.

“Which leads us to our second point ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between,” He looked around. “How many of you have I slept with?”

It was satisfying to see so many hands up.

It was also hilarious to see the look on Shiro’s face. 

“Thank you.” Lance said, turning back to Griffin, who was now pale, with a big smile. (“No thank  _ you! _ ” Someone from the crowd shouted.) “Now Jamie-boy. I have fucked nearly half of the Garrison, some people multiple times. And you think, you’re special because I sucked your dick once?” Keith choked on his spit. “And to be completely honest it wasn’t a very memorable experience.” There were a few snickers around the room. 

“However, since you want to be all buddy buddy now that we are paladins of Voltron and saved your neck a couple hundred times over. Let’s talk about the good old days. How does that sound?” Griffin looked confused. Lance was positively beaming at this point.

Griffin’s confusion turned into fear. He knew where this was going now. “ _ Lance-”  _ he started.

“See I have this fond memory, it was when I sucked your dick actually. You should remember this too.”

“ _ Lance, no! Please-” _

“It was right when you came, you shouted a name.”

“ _ PLEASE!” _

“And I thought ‘huh that’s weird, I don’t look anything like Keith.’”

“WHAT?!” Keith choked. He was shocked. It’s understandable.

“Well as I said, I thought that was odd. So I asked you why you said his name, if you hate him so much. You remember what you said Jamie-boy?” Lance continued, tapping his chin in mock consideration.

“ _ Please stop, I’m begging you-”  _ Lance was pretty sure Griffin had started crying.

“Oh you don’t? That’s too bad.” Lance sighed dramatically. “It’s okay, I remember. After all, it is one of my treasured memories of my  _ friend _ . Imagine my surprise when you said that you had a crush on the poor guy, and that all of your ‘friendly teasing’ was a cover for how fucking gay you were for Keith.” 

Griffin was on the floor sobbing.

Keith choked again. Lance didn’t blame him.

“Now Jamie-boy,” Lance leaned down whispering into Griffin’s ear “I know everything around here, and if you try to come for my family again, I will grind you into pulp.”

Lance righted himself, hands in his pockets, and shot Keith an amused smile.

“You wanna go to the mess hall, I’m kinda hungry.”

“You-” Keith started. He shook his head, and grabbed Lance’s hand. “Come with me.” Then proceeded to drag Lance back to their room, forcefully shut the door, and slam Lance up against the wall.

His fangs had made an appearance, and some yellow was bleeding into his eyes. For a second Lance thought he was angry.

“I have never been so turned on.” Keith snarled. He pulled Lance in for a searing kiss, nipping and biting and bruising and so, so, good.

Mmmm okay. Not angry.

Keith pulled away, Lance chasing after him with a whine. Keith looked flabbergasted.

“Griffin used to have a crush on me.” He said, still looking confused.

“To be honest, I bet he still does.” Lance murmured. Keith looked put out at that idea. He started to look disgusted.

“You sucked his dick!”

“A regrettable decision, truly.” Lance muttered.

Apparently that wasn’t enough for Keith, because he looked Lance up and down and bit him on the neck. Hard. Then went to suck hickeys into the skin of his neck.

“Ow! Dude! What was that?” Lance exclaimed.

“You’re mine, he can’t have you.” Keith pouted and looked down. And wasn’t that adorable.

“Babe… babe, Keith! Look at me-” Lance tilted Keith's head up to meet his eyes, “Cariño… why would I go back to him, when I have you?” His oh-so-purple eyes widened. “Besides I wasn’t kidding when I said it wasn’t a memorable experience, his dick is tiny, and he really has  _ no  _ technique, and--”

“No-no… I didn’t mean it like that.” Keith interrupted hastily. “I know you wouldn’t leave me! I’m just pretty sure it’s not just me he has a crush on anymore.” He smirked. “And I’m damned if I’m gonna let him think anything except that you’re mine, and I’m yours.”

“Well then,” When you put it like  _ that. _ “Go right ahead Samurai. My neck is free real estate. Eat up.” Lance gestured to his neck, grinning.

_ As if you didn’t just say the most perfect thing ever, okay thennnn. _

Keith immediately shoved Lance away. “Oh my God, I hate you.”

Lance just kept on grinning. “Oh, really? Cause earlier I could’ve sworn you said--”

“Just shut up and let me kiss you.”

“Aye, aye captain.” Lance saluted.

Keith snorted. “Why am I attracted to you again?”

“Because I just broke the will of an egotistical fuckface who tormented your teenage years?” Lance said smugly, raising an eyebrow. “Or, because I'm not wearing any underwear?”

“Fucking hell,  _ Lance. _ ”

-

Breakfast next morning was, uh, interesting.

Coming from their room to the mess hall, Keith and Lance were followed by whispers. Entering the mess hall, the whispers just increased. When they took their seat with the rest of Voltron, they died down a bit, but only for the team to start questioning them.

“Soooooooo… Laaaannnnceee….“ 

Pidge and Hunk were evil. Let that be noted.

“Care to explain why there are rumors that you fucked through almost half the Garrison population, reduced Griffin into a sobbing mess, and exposed his secret forlorn love of Keith.” Pidge asked.

Lance didn’t look up from his food.

“Cause I did.”

He took a bite.

“Really… How interesting.” Hunk continued “So that’s the reason that no one has seen him since yesterday.”

Lance shrugged “Guess so.”

He took another bite.

“Then, if that’s all true,” Pidge said “Then why are there also rumors about you sucking Griffin’s dick?”

“Cause I did.”

He took a third bite.

“REALLY DUDE? GRIFFIN?” Pidge exclaimed at the same time as Hunk said “Lance I  _ told _ you not to sleep with him. And what do you do? You sleep with him!”

“Hey,” Lance gestured pointedly at Hunk with his fork. “If I didn’t suck his dick, I couldn’t have had the information that I needed to do that awesome take down, and then I wouldn’t have had Keith raw me into next week. So it was worth it.” 

“EW LANCE NASTYYYY” Pidge squealed. Keith was laughing. Fuck him.

Lance sighed. “Pidge, both you and I know that you are the farthest thing from pure, so stop that.”

It was at this point that Adam decided to add that he was proud of Lance and that he couldn’t have a better slut- baby. Sucking dick and taking names. Shiro, it turns out, didn’t know that Lance and Adam knew each other. (“Of course where do you think I learned it all from?”) Shiro, was also, not as amused as Adam, at the amount of people Lance had slept with. (“Don’t you know how easy it is to catch an STD?”)(“I was practicing safe sex.  _ Dad _ .”). He was super not amused when Adam revealed that he was the one that taught Lance how to sneak out of the Garrison.

Eventually, Coran and Allura joined them. Coran gave a startled squeal when he looked at Lance’s neck.

“My boy! Did a large Whiffledrogin get into you bedchamber last night?”

Lance smacked Keith “Look at what you did.” he muttered. 

Keith looked entirely too pleased with himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Hi. I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a comment I guess? I enjoy constructive criticism.


End file.
